adoption

Taught Isaac how to give a fist bump today, he hasn't quite learned how to "blow it up" at the end though, hopefully he can learn that soon so he can be even cooler! man he's a funny kid!  he's our alarm clock usually in the mornings, it's typically between 7-7:30 that he's up cooing and talking to his stuffed animals in his crib.  Nathan goes to get him, they have some sweet time together getting ready in the mornings.  Nathan changes Isaac's typically disgusting diaper, applies some skin and hair moisturizer, reads books to Isaac, and reads at least 1 story from a little children's bible some good friends gave us.  This gives me time to get up and get breakfast ready.  My favorite sound is Isaac's little feet as they come through the living room to find me (and his breakfast) in the kitchen.  It's usually a pretty fast little walk, with arms outstretched, usually he's babbling something and pointing to his mouth...I get it.  He's fun at breakfast time, making all kinds of faces as we feed him.  Today he started this laugh that was just hilarious!  One is a fun age!  Too bad he won't remember it....that's why we take lots of pictures and videos! ;)
It was a good morning with the church at MCC.  Isaac likes the singing and will sometimes clap along, this kid has some rhythm. We had connection group after class. Isaac took a good afternoon nap once we got home. After a little snack we head outside where Nathan is working on our garden.  Isaac has discovered dirt, and it's a whole new world for him!  he loves to be outside, and it was such a pleasant day, warm and windy. 
Today I have been thinking alot about Ethiopia.  thinking about people we met there, wondering what they are doing, thinking about those that we saw living on the streets, desolate, un-wanted, hopeless.  Thought about hope today, and what a treasure it is indeed. To have hope. I went for a jog during Isaac's nap and listened to a Rob Bell sermon he did around Advent.  He talked about the discipline of anticipation, that we have to learn to slow and to anticipate something. Too often we have been burned, left empty, unsatisfied when we hope.  That is why we love to give gifts to children, we love to watch their anticipation as they open that present!  It was a good thought...anticipation as a discipline.  I am hasty, I need to slow down, to be still....
I go back to work starting Tuesday, March 1st.  it's been a quick 8-9 weeks...however long it is that I have taken off work.  I'm ready, and I trust that Isaac will handle it well.  We'll all adjust. Just might take a few days.
In other news, Nathan and I have decided to adopt again. This is really big news actually.  Huge.  This means so many things for our family!  We are starting the process over again, this time with Holt International rather than Children's Hope.  We liked our experience with CHI, but it's just a matter of timing, Holt doesn't require that you wait 9-12 months before starting again w/ the process, CHI does.  Not everyone understands this decision.  Why would two young people that love each other choose not to procreate?  You don't choose adoption, it chooses you if you can't have "your own" children, right?  Not at all.  I can't get the numbers out of my head.  The millions of children that have no one to tell them they are loved, no one who is making sure they are getting an education, no one.  Orphans.  And I know that we can't change the numbers but we can make a difference in one little one's life.  And in return, we are the ones that are changed.  It has happened already.  but 143 MILLION ORPHANS!  that is haunting. 
So, we have applied, have already had our home study update, next step is working on our dossier again. 
I realize this means I will have to forgo having a child grow in my uterus, and will not see myself in a little kid's face, and I'm completely okay with this.  my mom always said "God will give you the desires of your heart, or He will change your desires." God is blessing us with the gift of children, children He created and He loves more than we could ever imagine, and this is the way He has put on our hearts to do it. 

So Lord we pray for wisdom, we pray for open doors, we pray for your children tonight!